Accesorise your World Cup (11): Let's get drunk

This is about the most hideous item I have seen so far.

Accesorise your World Cup (10): Interior design

There are the obvious solutions. Buy a huge flag, and hang it somewhere. The most popular spot, is your window. That is, there is the curtain-flag, and the hangingoutofthewindowsillcloth-flag. Nothing fancy, but effective. That will let all your neighbours know that you DO support the national team.

There is the pole flag, and the little flag-line.

If for whatever reason you do not have enough capital to purchase a giant curtain-flag, a scarf-flag might do the trick. Or two of them.

But now. This is not the best you can do. There is a world out there full of interior decoration ideas. There is so much more you can do for your team...

And it is not just your national colours. SouthAfrica is hip. Let a bit of Southafrica into your home.

Accesorise your World Cup (9): Marzipan

A big highlight in Lubeck is marzipan. It is famous all over Germany, never ever heard of it in Spain, where the monopole is held by Toledo. Anyway, these are the windows from a coffee place of the most famous brand. It is all made of delicious, sweet marzipan.

Accesorise your World Cup (8): Pimp it

Germany and cars. Cars and Germans. Vehicles, once the sacred temples of engineering-freaks, have become a show-case for football freaks. Why, WHY would anybody do this to any inanimate object?

There's the window-flag. With a very special and sophisticated system to keep the flag attached. I have seen those in the Autobahn, that is, 120km/h minimum. Has anybody given it a thought? What would happen if you 'lost' your flag, and a car behind you found it?

Yeah, as you can see, there is some kind of weird system to attach the flag to your lights!

There's the rear window flagged-cover. Below we see a very special example. This guy, based on years (!) of experience, has reinforced the original design, with those plastic clips. I wonder whether he had any stability problems during the last world-cup. I wonder whether he would be able to sell his design to whoever is making those things.

And there's the sticker. Mmmmm... Every time I see one of those, I am tempted to go and try to get it off. Are they easy to put on/off? Do they leave glue marks on the car? I want to believe, the people using them gave it a thought before.

And to end with, the bike. Did you think that bikes had been spared? NOOOOOOOOOOO

Accesorise your World Cup (7): Bite it

I never thought about the colour of food. I never thought to combine coloured food, nor to make patterns with it. And yet, now that I see it, it is clear. It not only can be done. It must be done. Thousands of football freaks are craving for coloured food that matches their scarfs, hats, caps, t-shirts...

Accesorise your World Cup (6)

They say that all that glitters is not gold, right? Once in a while is not gold what you need to spice up your life, but a little bit of some glittering stuff. No matter if you are on the blink of divorce or going through a difficult time in this world in crisis… Don’t lose heart! Try one of these colorful wigs to cheer yourself up. When I look at this BANK window, just one question comes to my mind: Do animals have the capacity to recall the past, and is this capacity supported by the hippocampus? Well… Not really. But I guess the bank clerks were asking themselves something like that when they perpetrated THIS:

Accesorise your World Cup (5): Kick it

I can feel it around me. I see football, I hear football, I breath football. If I wanted to, I could eat footballs.

There are healthy salad-footballs. All those long games, eating popcorn and pizza (or whatever it is footballers eat during matches). Football-salad is the answer for your coronary arteries. 

You might organise a BBQ with your friends, get loud, play the vuvuzela (oh! the sweet sound of the vuvuzela...) and eat burger after burger. Or is it ball, after ball? One burger = One goal? You might choke though, specially if it's Germany playing.

And for those with a sweet tooth, help yourself to some cake.

Enjoy.

Accessorise your World Cup (4)

Certainly, sometimes beauty remains undiscovered… These objects we depict are nothing but digital apparition, not the real piece of art; our snapshots are just a node of crossing virtualities, a tiny log swimming in the ocean of the accessory’s splendor... But forget theory, look at reality, and let’s take this new astonishing masterpiece as a project of alternative worlds, a universe where we set aside boring functional perfection to feel the seduction of some ideal design, and plunge into the illegible ambivalence of pleasure and desire. Every contradiction between function and design, rational and aesthetic components, is resolved in the ultimate scheme of this football-patriotic mouse (turf-like mousepad included)!!

Accessorise your Word Cup (3)

In terms of the human body, the clock time is an alien. The organism has its own regularities: the beat of the pulse, the breathing, the hunger pangs… And yet, during the World Cup, time is not measured by the heart, the lungs, the stomach, or even the calendar, but by the events that occupy the day: the actions synchronize with the football matches; from hour to hour, mood changes into the strains of the goals on TV, and disposition comes in time to the sweet music of the vuvuzelas… 

 

So, you can get a bun in the shape of a ball (a Berliner Kiba), or  even stuff yourself with the last match result (I scoffed the lot).

Accessorise your World Cup (2)

OK. Now is too late. We were taken by surprise. As the seasoned infantry was taken positions with their earsplitting vuvuzelas, the mobile units moved silently, spreading the black, yellow and red all over Marzipanium. All of a sudden, outgunned and outnumbered, we were ambushed, swept away, and finally captured by enemy forces. Against overwhelming odds, we had to surrender to the World Cup. What else should we do? Well, actually, a couple of things more: Let the thousands of unfurled flags witness from the windows… And accessorise our brand new football existence!!